Me: Have you seen me there yet?

(because someone told me a long time ago that he saw me everywhere — having hallucinations — when he went to the Philippines)

Russ: No, because there’s no one as beautiful as you. Your beauty is like over 9000!

Me: PSSSHHH! NO! Other people wouldn’t agree to that.

Russ: Of course, they won’t. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I BEHOLD YOU!

Me: Oh, geez. Really, Russ?